I guess this is really the end of a story which I never thought the ending would be as such. This is the one story that i was hoping to able to write long and happy tales about. About how two friends who never thought that their life would tangle up together. But i guess, it did not work out as planned ...
*Gosh* there are so many things in my mind but I can't bring myself to say it... Well, Thank you for having TRIED to tell yourself to accept me and that you tried to find the feel between us. But the question is, were you trying hard enough? You see,
How can you like or even TRY to like me if there is already someone in your heart? Some one who can affect you so easily.. someone who you clearly are still having hopes for? It is just NOT POSSIBLE. Because, your mind and heart is constantly filled with him... You say you tried to find the feel but the truth is you are trying to make me as his replacement unconsciously...
Whenever I cared, i loved... you will tend to compare me with him unconsciously ... and you will try to make me become like HIM ... but eventually it will NEVER work because I am not Him ... Therefore it is not possible to like someone or even have feelings for someone when you already have it in someone else. Until you truly let go of him ... it will never happen...
Well, since i had made you so UNEASY that you screamed and cried and begged me not to bother you anymore, i shall do what i should to do ... It scares me to even know how SCARY i can be to you in your dreams .. So i guess, its for the best of you and me ...
Besides, come on ... you and me know that i am rather insignificant in your life and whether I am in it or not doesn't make much difference to you ... You won't even notice it ... I'll make you a bet that it will take you days (maybe 2 or 3) or even a week ... before you realize that my BLOG is the only means of knowing wassup with my life and you are reading this blog post now ..
At least, you don have to see me posting up stuff that might you uncomfortable again ... and I could at least not know what is going on so that I can take my mind off things... Well, who would have thought that things could come to this stage ... I mean i never knew i could care for someone so much and did all the thing i did ...
Anyways, knowing you, I know that there will be so many people lining up to give you all the attention and filling up my shoes real soon.. and in just a blink of an eye, I'll just be another one of your normal, forgotten friend .. probably a laughing subject in your conversation with your friends ... i don't know ..
but one thing i really don't like to hear is: nic, seriously get a girl who loves your and cares for you with her heart... I mean if I could, i would right? But the thing is we DO NOT choose who we fall in love with ... we just FALL ... I did on you and i never regret it at all
Lastly, I just wanna say how much i appreciate what you have shared with me over the pass 3 months, the many things that u probably did not share with other ppl ... Btw, When I was close to you, I only see the BEST in you ... even when you doubt yourself and even when people around you do not think so ... because i have faith in you that you can achieve alot !!! So, it is time to have a stronger faith in yourself too when it comes to anything. Ahhh, i have nothing left to say anymore except farewell.
Remember, when no one was there for you, I was ... when no one gave a damn, I did.
This is so sad...and sadly, so true. In an ideal world, maybe she'll realize that you were one of the best things that ever happened to her (like I did) but who know how you'll feel then, and you'd just end up being the object of another man's frustration.
ReplyDeleteLife sucks like that some times. But the fact is, sooner or later, someone you meet will be the one for you. And when you meet her, she'll feel the same. So don't let any opportunity pass by for someone who obviously doesn't appreciate you.
A man in love is such a beautiful thing. Stay strong buddy. Your time will come.
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